Target's unbreakable polycarbonate stemware gets two fins up!!

What's this? The noble and sophisticated Robert Sharker is endorsing plastic stemware? Yes friends, it's true. And if you're half the clumsy ass that my wife and I are, you'll totally understand!

Allow me to tell the story.

Recently I was dragging this pathetic, DMB-listening, blonde-dreadlocked surfer dude below the waves to his bloody, watery death. But rather than simply accepting his fate like a real man, he starts in with the old "I'll just repeatedly punch this shark in the nose until he lets go" routine. People, I've said it before- it just doesn't work! It only makes us more mad!

I decided to teach this granola-eating prick a lesson.

I took him down a couple hundred feet to my dining room for what the crocodiles call a "death roll." That's when you bite down hard and do a few barrel-rolls until their spinal cord just snaps in half! What I hadn't realized was that my wife had already poured out two glasses of '03 Harlan Cabernet and set them out on the kitchen table. Without realizing what I was doing, I accidentally swung this asshole across the table and his head sent the two glasses flying! I gasped in horror at what had happened and dropped his severed torso to the ocean floor. It was a real bummer watching all that $400 Cabernet Sauvignon float away, but there was so much blood in the water you couldn't tell what was what!

To my amazement however, the wine glasses were still perfectly intact. "What the hell's going on here?" I asked my wife. "You like that? I got them at Target today" she said. I picked the glasses up and realized they were actually made of plastic! I mean they really looked like the real deal; they had excellent clarity, nice weight and balance, a smooth bowl to lip transition, and perfect stem circumference!

I couldn't believe it. And the best part is that you can pick up a set of 4 of these glasses for around $20. These unbreakable beauties have since become our everyday wine glasses around the house. Are they a good replacement for your Riedel Sommeliers series stems? No. Absolutely not. Save those for when you have guests over. Use the plastic Target glasses every other day. Check 'em out for yourself right here:

Target Wine Glasses

And before you all start sending me angry emails accusing me of "selling out," you should know that I have not received any payment from Target for this blog! I'm a regular guy just like you looking out for a good bargain and sharing it with you whenever possible. And if you're a clumsy fuck like me, you'll thank me for this later.

Salud!

-Robert Sharker.