The Sharkers visit Spain and I come to terms with my expensive tastes.

Hello again, wine lovers!

I haven't written to you in nearly two months and now it's time for me to make excuses. Are you ready? I've got some good ones:

1.Shitty phone and internet service in Europe.
In early October, my wife and I went to Spain! (more on that in a minute). Prior to to our trip, one of our offspring got me a new iPhone so I could update my blog on the go rather than bring my laptop and look for spotty WI-FI service. Sounds great right? Apparently these amazing devices don't work very well when submerged under 300 ft of saltwater! Thanks Apple. You're really making life easier for all of us. Of course there are internet cafes throughout the Mediterranean but those foreign keyboards might as well be from the moon.

2. Swine Flu.
So on the trip back from Spain, of course I get stuck sitting next to a couple of damn jellyfish. Ordinarily I would eat these spineless bastards without thinking twice about it, but my wife says I need to do a better job controlling my anger in public so instead I just make pleasant conversation. "How do you do? My name is Robert". "I'm retired and I write a wine blog. What do you do? Oh really? That must be very interesting. Wow. Oh really? That's nice." And so on... It was brutal but I did it.
It was about this time that one of them starts coughing and sneezing, and right away I knew what I was in for. As soon as we got home I went down hard with a 103 degree fever, which when you are cold-blooded can be very fatal! I couldn't get out of bed for nearly a month and needless to say, couldn't have a drop of wine! All thanks to these asshole, swine flu carrying jellyfish who refuse to get vaccinated because it violates their religious beliefs! C'mon, get real.

"That's great Robert. Can you please wrap it up and talk about wine?"

You're right! I am so sorry. Enough excuses. I wanted to tell you all about my wine-ephiphany while we were in Spain. We spent our time prowling the waters between Barcelona and the island of Mallorca. This was our first trip to this particular region and we were blown away by the beautiful warm water, the friendly locals, and the abundance of prey! We absolutely gorged ourselves on Catalan specialties like squid, octopus, anchovies, sea snails and stoned Barcelona teenagers who wandered too far into the surf at night!

Now being a famous wine critic, I must confess that I've gotten a bit too comfortable with my easy access to the world's finest wines. I mean, when I check my underwater P.O. box it's just overflowing with sample bottles of wines I could never afford if I weren't in this business. And when my wife and I dine in restaurants, the sommelier frequently comps us a bottle or two of some of their most exclusive wines. I realize this doesn't sound bad at all to most people but believe me, it can lead to a real sense of apathy.

On this particular trip, I wanted things to be different. I wanted to see what wine the local folks would be drinking with their meals. I wanted to get back to what wine is really about, which is enjoyment. Not reviews, scores, high price tags, or pedigree. So for almost every meal, we simply ordered a liter of the house wine (red, white, or rose as the situation demanded) and let me tell you, it was a real eye-opener. Typically, the wines were served in an anonymous glass carafe; no label, no names, just total anonymity. These wines were very inexpensive, locally produced and always complemented our meals perfectly. It was great! And best of all, it gave our food enough room to be the star of the show, rather than the other way around. Any serious predatory creature will agree that this is the way it oughta be!

Now that's not to say we only ordered the house wine. About halfway through a delightful homestyle Catalan meal at 4Gats in Barcelona, where our human disguises worked like a charm, I did order a bottle of 2005 Prior de Fic from Priorat and proceeded to drink the entire thing myself! I just couldn't resist the densely layered plum, boysenberry and vanilla cream flavors. After a week of drinking good but fairly pedestrian wines, it felt great to throw down something with some real backbone to it! In fact, this wine sent me into such a frenzy that I ate or maimed half the waitstaff in a matter of minutes and we had to make a hasty exit back to the sea!

And come to think of it, I did also splurge on a bottle of the venerable 2004 Vega Sicilia Tinto Valbuena. We'll save that one for a few years and I'll report back to you.

So at the end of the day, I guess I do prefer and appreciate the fancy stuff after all. Keep those free bottles coming!

Until next time,

-Robert Sharker.